When a Frog Changed My Life

I want to preface this story by saying that this is a real true story. It happened during a two day weekend. Father’s Day Weekend, June of 2019 to be exact. My life has not been the same since.

To begin, I want to tell you about the person I was in 2019. I was afraid, and constantly working to “fix” things in my life. I told the story of overwhelm to anyone who would listen because I wanted them to pitty me. And when they did, I felt guilty, and worked even harder on the fixing. I never had “enough time” to take care of myself. If this sounds familiar *ahem ahem* read on.

2019 Marina was afraid of EVERYTHING. Particular to this story, I was terrified of walking alone in downtown Manhattan, because I was sure that I would get lost. Obviously this was a learned experience as I have gotten lost years before, on the same exact streets. I was also terrified of taking the subway by myself. My fear of being lost showed up in many ways as you can tell, so my only means of transportation around the streets of Manhattan were, you guessed it, ride shares. They got me where I needed to go without the guess work. Sounds expensive in more ways than one when I think back to that time.

Let me take you back to a Saturday in June of 2019. It was the weekend of Father’s Day. Month five of a year long personal development training course that changed my world.

The program ended at 6 and a few of my friends/classmates and I purchased tickets to check out the Color Factory afterwards.
We got there, checked out a ton of interactive art and left to eat dinner at a nearby sushi restaurant.

The group of people I was with were incredible. And one of them, unfortunately had an allergic reaction to something at the museum and was having an extremely hard time on the way to dinner. Our group ended up separating and I decided to stay with my friend to ensure she was safe and that her health was under control. By this point, it was close to 9pm. We decided to walk around and talk. I was a tiny bit apprehensive simply because I’m terrified of being lost. Which is a motif that used to show up prevalently in my life. But that’s a story for another post.

On our walk, we stumbled across a random Italian restaurant in TriBeCa. We ordered wine, and shared a charcuterie board. We met the owner, spent a few hours chatting

with him about life, his aspirations, and the family business he was running. He was an aspiring film maker. And small world, he knew one of our class mates. To say it was a beautiful and whimsical evening, is to say nothing at all. I will remember that evening fondly for the rest of my life.

Our class started early on Sunday and I stayed with my friend that evening. In the morning, we took a ferry from the neighborhood we were in to the Wall Street ferry station. I don’t know why, but that morning felt magical. I felt different in ways I couldn’t even put my finger on. To say it simply, my soul felt accepting of my own self for the first time in my life.

Right before taking a break for lunch on Sunday, I realized it was Father’s Day and I had plans with my dad and brother. I also
realized that I never made reservations anywhere. So I found the business card of the restaurant owner from the previous evening, promptly emailed him, and made a reservation for 4 for that evening. I invited my husband.

Meeting Matilda

In weekend five of the program I was enrolled in, we were learning about spirituality. Our own, the people who surround us, and how we all relate to the Universe. After our lunch break, we were brought into a dimly lit room and invited to participate in a guided meditation.

We are promoted to enter an elevator, press the “down” arrow and arrive in our meditation garden. We were asked to imagine walking through our meditation gardens, find our meditation chairs, sit down inside of them, and be as comfortable as possible.

We were then prompted to find a connection of the word “self” in a form we would recognize it in. We were told that this personification of self would give us a message. To me, self, was presented as a gorgeous bright pink peony. She told me that no matter what happens to her, whether she’ll beautiful and bright or dull and dry, that I needed to keep watering her and she would always keep blooming.

Next, we were promoted to find a connection to “others”, in other words, people other than ourselves. For me, others presented as a bright red glowing heart. The heart told me that I should not be afraid to lead others and speak my mind because I would bring positivity into their lives.

Lastly, we were asked to meet our versions of the universe. As this happened, the first thing that I envisioned is a beautiful green frog with pink lips and a gold crown. “Keep moving forward.” she said. “The magic of the universe always has your back and so do I. Don’t look back in fear. Keep going.”

To say this was the most profound experience of my life would be a lie because what happened later in the day somehow changed my life and remained in my heart as a daily reminder to just keep going.

Profound Experience
After the program ended, I had multiple options for getting to the restaurant I had had reservations later that evening. I had one hour until it was time to sit down for dinner.

Initially, I decided to take the train. Then, I considered a taxi. But that Sunday was special. That Sunday, Matilda told me that the universe has my back and to never be afraid to walk forward. “What are you most afraid of, Marina?” I asked myself. “To get lost in downtown Manhattan.” I told myself. That brutal honesty helped me decide that I would walk to that restaurant and not be afraid. So I did.

My journey was perfect. The sun was shining, the wind was blowing in the direction I was walking, my shoes were comfortable, my water bottle was full. As I remained on course, I was able to relax, see the beautiful flowers blooming in the many NYC parks along my route. “Make a right hand turn.” Said my navigation that I was glued to whenever I wasn’t looking around. As I looked up, I realized that I was being directed to turn down an alley way. “No way. I will take the longer route and find another way.” I said to myself. As I started to walk away from the alley, I saw a beautiful woman walk out of it. Dressed in a flowy white skirt and a white brimmed hat, she looked like she walked out of a Vogue magazine cover. “If she can do it, I can do it.” I said to myself. After all, Matilda said that the magic of the universe has my back. So, I took the chance. And as I turned the corner my jaw dropped on the floor. Standing right in front of me, as clear as day, in an alley way I have never ever been to, was a statue. Of gold crowns. I stopped to take a picture and you can see it by clicking here:

Since that day, I always try to keep taking scary leaps. Those are the particles of what a life lived looks like. The frog always leads the way. Even in camouflage, I can see her crown’s sparkle, and I know that I am on the right path. Take from this story what you will. One thing I know is that magic is real. Not the card trick way, maybe, that’s slight of hand. But real magic. The universal kind. All you have to do is trust blindly, in your tomorrow, know daily that despite everything today will be good, because you will

either gain something or learn something, and move forward, especially when you want to stay still. Scary leaps create “the thing” that you always look for externally, instead of recognizing that Stopping ourselves from taking them, is what actually stops us from achieving everything we have ever wanted.